We may wonder why some people are giving advice without our request. The reason is, they think that they can help us to manage our stress. Even though some have pure helping mind, the case is not similar all the time. We should be very careful about what kind of advice is given and by whom.
At times, advice givers get offended and go into depression because of criticism by others. Advice giving and listening to advice both are to be done carefully. There is a random belief among people that these days youngsters are not having patience to listen to any kind of advice. I am not going to discuss on that topic because that topic needs lot more study on the situational factors.
I am giving my thoughts here on why people give un-requested advice and how you can handle the same.
Acceptance of advice depends on whom the advice comes from. This is the most influencing factor. It may come from a family member, close friend, teachers or from inspiring leaders. However, some people get offended by such advice linking it with negative criticism. Situational factor is also very important. Even though advice is given with good intent, if the situation of a receiving person is not right then the whole thing goes in opposite direction.
Friends think that friendship is the savior when a friend is in stress and they try to give advice even when friend didn’t ask. Friends try to take initiative to solve the other friend’s problem. Friendship is a skill and it needs to maintained with self-awareness. In such cases, advice is given with pure intention to help a friend in need. There are some people who give advice to motivate you and they never try to hurt.
In the real world, there are categories of advice givers with whom extra care is required to keep away the negativity.
Few people who are having more knowledge and always need attention from others tend to give unwanted advices. Their only aim is to prove their knowledge availability. Such people may not even think about the situation which you are currently in. For example, when a person is having tough time with job, advice giver will give advice on how to get best performer award quoting his own award. Here, the person gets more stressed than before while comparing self with the advice giver’s status.
There are people who want to be a teacher always. They might even have hidden selfish agenda like need to elicit praise and exploit others. They want to have a dominating feel. Such people always follow foot in the door method. They start conversation is a friendly manner for few days. When they get to know that your trust is earned, they start influencing by sharing small advice. Gradually they move on to take more control and give unwanted advice which might even harm you or make you feel useless about yourself at times.
Always try to be away from people who are trying to make you feel low, useless and depressed by creating negativity. Just respond to such advices in polite way without any reaction. We should always refrain from reacting unnecessarily. They more we react, the more stress would increase. It is your responsibility to ensure that you validate the advice given by anyone before accepting that.
Really useful message. Did i ask? ???.keep going ……
Thank you Rajesh!